you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
