just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
