you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
