that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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