a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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