my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
me + whiskey = a bad person
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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