We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
