Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
