I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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