I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
