why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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