Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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