what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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