My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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