Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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