How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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