Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
