I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
