I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
