And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
