I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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