Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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