Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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