I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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