Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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