atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
