Already got asked if we're dating
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
