First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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