I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize