Redeem this text for a blowjob
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize