so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
