watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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