TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
