Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
