What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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