I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
