did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When are your genitals available?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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