OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i think my cat just said my name.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
