Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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