you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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