playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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