Kiss
Puke
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Floor bacon is actually really good
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
