I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
