It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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