You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
