$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize