Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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