I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
