Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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