So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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