I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Girls should come with a carfax report
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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