This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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