Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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