plz talk dirty to me
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Randomize
