So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
