I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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