Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
