So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
