Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
