I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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