ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize