I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We're too hungover to prance.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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