Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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