the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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