she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
