Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
