idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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