the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
that may or may not have been my penis.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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